Showers. What a waste, am I right? If I wanted to consume 60 gallons of water, I would ask my girlfriend ChatGPT for five alternatives to showering. Heh, you’re all so lucky — I already ASKED my WIFE. SHE and I actually made this list together. I am the CLEANEST I have been in years. My natural musk keeps the ladies chasing me for days. I know you want to be like me, hey, I get it. I can give you five tips, five ways to get on my level.
1. Stand outside in the rain.
Of course. The easy option. When nature calls, you answer, much like John Pork. The only downside to this one is if you can’t scroll on r/rit while you’re doing it. They’re always talking about important things there.
2. Tears from coding classes.
My professor said I was relying too much on my wife for the answers to assignments. C# and C++ aren’t real; my feelings are. My feelings don’t stop. Neither do my tears. Since I can’t smell myself when I cry, it must be my tears washing the grime off.
3. Jump into the snow (watch out for ice).
I wanted to remove this one after the incident. Use the spit from your professor when they talk.
4. Use the spit from your professor when they talk.
I’ve heard professors must brush their teeth before coming to school. The minty fresh smell mixed with a Java’s coffee ignites something in me, and it ignites something in my classmates. They make faces all the time.
5. A few laps at Hammergirl Anime.
Water pools at the base of my neck, seeping down into my clothes. My skin sticks to the cotton fabric, scrubbing and wiping the grime away, much like a sponge. This is the best way to increase your natural musk.
