The Campus Center is getting wetter this week with the sudden revival of a mostly forgotten water feature. After the multi-level fountains’ initial closure in 2021 due to leaks, no attempts were made to fix the problem. “We were meaning to get to it, you know, eventually,” explained one maintenance worker. It seemed like they had finally gotten around to it when work began late Monday night, repairing what was described as “various pumps and hoses,” when disaster struck. When connecting the feature back to the water main to test it out, building maintenance worker Mitchell Current “totally bungled it, dude,” causing an excess of water pressure to shoot through the pumps into the Campus Center’s A-level. This mistake spiraled quickly as the rush of water reminded the floor of its former life as the Edith Woodward Memorial Pool. Unfortunately, the incident occurred at the end of Current’s shift and the other workers’ shifts, rendering them unable to help resolve the situation. Reports show that the water continued flowing in for the next several hours, flooding the A-level.
With its proximity to the fountain, Distorter Magazine was quickly overtaken by the flood. In an unfortunate turn of events, the office door had been left open that night by a forgetful member of the staff, allowing the water full access to the space. This incident has rendered the entire office, including the 75-year-old archives, submerged. The damage was discovered the next day by a staff member when they tried to go into the office for a nap. “I was really confused,” he said of his discovery, “I didn’t even notice something was wrong until I saw some of the magazines float past me. That’s when I knew something was wrong.” They aren’t the only ones; several students have reported finding old editions washed up around campus. In response to this, Distorter has converted many of their stands into receptacles for such magazines that people have found lying around. The converted stands feature opaque black walls and a plastic bag lining the inside to contain the damp magazines.
When asked why they decided to bring back the fountain now after so long, Current explained, “new president, new priorities. President Musicstan had his love of the performing arts, and President Sandler loves fountains; everyone has their thing.” He also added that “the fountain is a source of income. All the coins that get thrown in there are given to clubs as their budget.”
RIT doesn’t seem to be in a rush to fix the problem either. In fact, early reports suggest the university is working to make the change permanent. Some have heard that they are planning to convert RITZ into a swim-up bar and cafe with a Caribbean feel. “In their current state, the tunnels are boring,” explains lead architect River Brooks, “what we need is a deviation from all the brick and concrete, so taking inspiration from the history of this campus, we are moving towards a water-based path for students to get around. RIT is all about innovation, and this is exactly that.” This statement came along with the announcement of the Edith Woodward Memorial Lazy River, in reference to the “Jell-O” heiress the original pool was named for
Despite the damage done to many important student organization spaces, the outcry from students has been minimal. “At least nothing important like the Greek Life Committee was destroyed,” said one student who swam away before we could get his name.
