On a Tuesday night, somewhere between finishing an assignment and scrolling TikTok, another student swipes left. Then right. Then left again.

A new face appears. A clever bio, a favorite song. A shared interest. The possibility of a first date.

Or a second.

Or perhaps just another conversation that disappears after three messages.

Dating has never been more accessible. With a few taps, students can connect with hundreds of potential partners within miles of campus. Yet despite having more opportunities than ever before, many young adults report feeling disconnected, frustrated and exhausted by modern dating. I couldn’t help but wonder: If finding someone has never been easier, why does dating feel harder than ever?

To better understand how RIT students navigate modern dating, I surveyed students about their experiences with dating apps, relationships and connection. While responses varied, one theme emerged repeatedly: dating feels easier to start than it does to sustain.

“Honestly, it’s just how people meet now,” said one RIT student. “If you like someone, your friends almost immediately ask if you’ve matched with them or met them online.”

Apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have transformed dating from a chance encounter into an algorithmic experience. Instead of meeting someone in a coffee shop, classroom or campus event, many relationships begin with a profile picture and a carefully crafted prompt. For some students, that convenience is a benefit.

“You can meet people you never would’ve crossed paths with otherwise,” said another student. “Especially on a campus as big as RIT.”

But convenience does not always create connection.

While students used different words to describe their experiences, many shared a similar feeling of emotional exhaustion after spending time on dating apps. Researchers have referred to this experience as “dating fatigue,” a term used to describe the burnout that can result from repeated swiping, ghosting, unsuccessful conversations and the pressure to continuously present yourself to potential matches.

One student compared dating apps to online shopping.

“You keep thinking there might be someone better if you keep scrolling.”

Another student said, “After a while it starts to feel repetitive. You’re having the same conversations with different people, and eventually it becomes exhausting.’’

Another described modern dating as “having too many options and not enough commitment.”

The sentiment raises a larger question about how technology influences relationships.

While dating apps offer more opportunities to meet people, they also introduce an abundance of choice. Psychologists have long studied what researcher Barry Schwartz calls the “paradox of choice,” the idea that having an overwhelming number of options can make people less satisfied with the decisions they ultimately make. Rather than feeling empowered by endless possibilities, people may become more anxious about whether they’ve made the “right” choice.

When every swipe introduces another possibility, choosing one person can feel surprisingly complicated.

Several students echoed this idea during interviews, describing how the constant availability of new matches sometimes made it difficult to invest in getting to know one person before wondering if someone “better” might be only a swipe away.

Yet technology alone may not be responsible. College itself presents unique challenges for relationships. Students balance classes, jobs, internships, extracurricular activities and social commitments. Some are planning careers across the country. Others are navigating independence for the first time.

In that environment, defining relationships can feel difficult. Terms like “talking stage,” “situationship” and “soft launch” have entered the dating vocabulary of many young adults. Traditional labels often feel less common than they did in previous generations.

“It’s not that people don’t want relationships,” said one student. “It’s that nobody wants to get hurt.”

That fear appears repeatedly in conversations about dating.  Students described hesitating to be vulnerable, fearing rejection or worrying that expressing genuine interest might come across as too intense. Ironically, the desire to protect ourselves from disappointment may sometimes prevent the very connection we’re seeking.

At the same time, loneliness remains a growing concern among young adults nationwide. Many students report being constantly connected online while still feeling isolated in their personal lives. Social media allows people to maintain communication with hundreds of acquaintances yet meaningful relationships often require something far less convenient: time, vulnerability and uncertainty.

Dating apps can create introductions, but they cannot create intimacy. That part still belongs to people. Despite frustrations, many students remain hopeful.

Some shared stories of meaningful relationships that began through apps. Others described meeting partners through clubs, classes or mutual friends. While the methods may differ, the goal remains remarkably similar.

People still want to feel seen, and be seen. They still want companionship. They still want someone to text when something good happens. Perhaps that explains why dating continues to matter, even in an era defined by swipes and screens. The search for connection has always been complicated. Technology may have changed the process, but it hasn’t changed the desire behind it. And maybe that’s the real story.

Maybe the question isn’t whether college romance can survive the swipe era. Maybe the question is whether genuine connection has ever been as simple as finding the right person. Or whether it has always required something more.

A little courage. A little vulnerability. And the willingness to stop scrolling long enough to see what’s already in front of us.