Orientation Classics: A Review


Illustration by Sahana Maheswaran

Balloon Ritchie Theft

5/5 Tiger Paws

Arguably, the greatest thing RIT has ever invented was the construction of Balloon Ritchie. For the uninitiated, Balloon Ritchie is our actual mascot, an abomination of balloons made in hopes to resemble our tiger mascot, Ritchie. But things got out of hand and RIT accidentally made a being far from our control, thus Balloon Ritchie was born. If you are lucky, you might be able to snag one of these little guys and keep him at your dorm window forever, haunting all who walk pass.

Staged Actors

2/5 Tiger Paws

As a student from the 2018 orientation, I think one of the worst parts of it was our sex-ed assemblies. Not for the fact that it was sex-ed, but mostly because I had to sit there and watch paid actors make out on stage to illustrate consent. The only reason why this secondhand embarrassment is up here is for an actor from the presentation. Let's call him Kyle. Kyle played a bystander and was going to throw hands with a guy who roofied drinks at a party. The entire audience cheered. Kyle, if you’re out there, know that you are our king.

Out of Place Speaker

0/5 Tiger Paws

From my numerous sources of comrades and friends, we all agreed the worst part was the out-of-place speaker during orientation. We respected their accomplishments, don’t get us wrong, but it was hard to connect with someone as freshmen in a crowded auditorium with over 70 degree heat.

A Financial Lawsuit Waiting To Happen

3/5 Tiger Paws

We have to censor this for reasons, but I will never forget the acronym that made RIT famous overnight. A three letter shorthand for what we should do when met with sexual needs. An amazing, arguably extraordinary moment for RIT history. It would be funnier if it didn’t make light of a serious problem among the college student demographic.

Hyperspeed Turbo Hustle

4/5 Tiger Paws

If you ever wonder how much RIT pays their students to represent their school as orientation leaders (OL), know that it isn’t enough. I may not have been an OL myself, but every time I hear the first few notes of the Turbo Hustle play, I know a former OL's foot twitches in fear. But as a non-OL I think it’s fun to see them drop everything to get down. When I went to Orientation, I saw an OL do the Turbo Hustle so fast I think he cracked all of his bones, and that was cool.

Forming the ‘R’ in RIT

1/5 Tiger Paws

Do you hate people in your personal space? You hate waking up way too early in the morning and waiting for an uninformed amount of time? Do you hate constantly feeling off? Then I sincerely hope you do not get assigned to the ‘R’ when you are made to make RIT out in the Gordon Field for the yearly freshmen photo. I was the bottom of the R so it was not as bad, but imagine being the curve of it. The audacity of it all.