Escaping Your Lame Self at Parties
by Lauren Sousa | published Oct. 2nd, 2014
Hello party animals, it’s your boy Leo here with some tips for becoming the ultimate party monster. Now, as all of you know, I am the king of parties; few have reached my level of party power, as I like to call it. From gaming parties to techno-powered midnight raves, I’m your man. I boast such feats as downing a bottle of brew in only two hours and, I kid you not, I once almost kissed a girl. I’m quite the party animal and I’m here to share some of my tips.
Dress for success
In order to be the party master, you must look the part. You have to look sharp and cool. I always start my outfit with some freshly pressed slacks – and, if you wrap those up with a braided belt, you’ll be the life of the party. Throw on some Crocs and a button down shirt, with the top two buttons undone of course, and you’re ready to hit the town.
Not drinking? That's cool
Now I know there’s a lot of you who, like me, don’t drink and that’s cool – but talking continuously about being the sober one? That’s not cool, bro. If you want to be cool, play it cool. You don’t have to drink till you drop but you also don’t have to brag about not drinking. The last thing you want to do is scare your fellow party monsters away by being condescending.
Know your way out
We’ve all been there: someone has had too much to drink or is a little too forward and won’t leave you alone. The first thing I do when I get to a party is figure out how I’m going to leave. To start, designated drivers are a must and there’s nothing cooler than playing the sober chauffeur. If I’m not playing DD for the night, I also like to have my buddies check in on me periodically so if there’s an issue I’ve got my bros to back me up. As a last resort I always have an excuse up my sleeve.
“Sorry, I’ve got work in the morning and I’m heading out, see you around!”
You never know what’s going to go down at a party, so be prepared.
Step up to the plate
Don’t you just hate it when there’s someone at a party you want to get to know but you’re too scared to talk to them? You’ve got to step up to the plate, man. Start that conversation – chances are it will go well. Brace yourself, I’m going to throw some psychology at you: according to Psychology Today’s Peter Stromberg, there are these things called mirror neurons that make us copy the person we’re talking to if we’re interested in them. Stromberg says if that happens, you’re more likely to like each other and you’ll start to share emotions – perfect for adding new members to your party mob.
Lots of people think hooking up is the main reason for a party. Maybe it is, I don’t know. What I do know is this: consent is cool. All that drunken messing around? Not cool. If you or your partner has been drinking, save the horseplay for another night. The best thing to do is to trade phone numbers and try again another time.
That’s it folks. These are my five main tips to becoming a party animal. From here on out it’s up to you.
See you on the party train!