Students Stand By Batman

Over the past few years of Student Government (SG) President and Vice President Elections, an increasing number of students have been casting votes for Batman, a well-known comic book character and protector of Gotham City. For the 2014-15 elections Batman is an official contender for the position of Student Government President. He was recently approved by President Wrestler himself, who has shown increasing support for this off-campus candidate.

“He’s done great work in Gotham City,” Wrestler explained. “How could we not take him seriously? One of our goals with him as Student Government President is to completely phase out the need for Public Safety, which would potentially save students $10,000 in tuition.”

Although he has yet to take time off from his night job to campaign on the RIT campus, Batman did state in an email interview that he is looking forward to this upcoming election season. “I think that in the past it’s been seen as a joke that I’m running for RIT’s student president,” he stated. “This year I’m taking my role seriously though. People have emailed me saying that they look up to me. How can I ignore my duty as a role model?”

However, opponents of the Batman for President Campaign have suggested that if he hasn’t had time to campaign directly on campus, he may not have time to adequately fulfill the extremely difficult job of RIT SG President.

“Look, it’s a really important job,” said RIT’s current SG President, Tall Saul. “There are meetings every week and we have to talk to students. I mean the individual who is speaking for our students has to at least be here.”

Batman responded to these concerns by stating that any work that he does would be an improvement on SG.

“Don’t get me wrong, Tall Saul and Dick have done a great job with SG this year,” Batman said. “I mean, we haven’t had an SG shutdown or anything, but what have they done? I don’t need to be present on the campus to do more than pass out free popcorn.”

Other students who are not in favor of the superhero presidential candidate have expressed concern that if someone who is involved in fighting so much crime becomes a figure on RIT’s campus, villains will go after the students in retaliation. Batman said in the email interview that he is not concerned about this.

“I will do everything in my power to protect the students of RIT,” he typed passionately. “Absolutely nothing will go through me and get to the students. I’ve been doing this a long time and I know that I can adequately protect the campus.”

Even with some student doubt, many students are in favor of this unorthodox president. T-shirts have been made and students from the College of Engineering have already begun constructing an eco-friendly bat signal to put on the top of Eastman. The signal will be wind powered to compensate for the lack of sun in Rochester. This supports Batman’s green campaign, which largely agrees with Wrestler’s ideals.

In other news, Wayne Enterprises has donated a large sum of money to go toward a new bat shaped fountain. Wrestler denies any rumors that this may be the reason for his support of Batman’s campaign. Construction for the fountain, which will replace the Sentinel, will begin in summer of 2014.