Fantastic Cribs and Where to Find Them
by Digworm Higglethorpe | published Apr. 8th, 2021
With housing selection in full swing, many students are asking themselves the same question, “Where do I want to live next year?"
While you’ve most likely taken a look at the residence halls, Riverknoll and Global Village, it may be worth it to examine some of the lesser-known options RIT has available to you!
These alternatives, and their inhabitants, may just surprise you! We here at Reporter certainly found them quite magical.
Living the Nightlife
Behind Gracie’s, hidden within the dense canopy of the RIT nature trails, you can find Sandra Fuller.
Fuller is a fourth year Film and Animation major, and also a werewolf.
She lives in a small tent cobbled together with sticks and leaves, just off one of the nature trails’ main paths.
“It isn’t anything fancy, but it really is comfortable. And it has a great view of the moon too,” Fuller said.
She lives with a small group of roommates that she lovingly refers to as “The Pack”. Some of their favorite activities include staying up late, howling their favorite songs and just — ripping — on their bongs at literally every available opportunity.
“I’m pretty sure campo knows we’re out here doing this,” Fuller stated. “If they come nearby though, we bark at them, so I think they’re just too afraid to check.”
While friends and fun activities help to make campus living easier, the main downside to her lean-to is the lack of extra resources. Her Wi-Fi is spotty, and the bathrooms are relatively far away.
The lack of amenities is fine by her though, especially since the price matches. Her tent is one of the cheaper options for upper-class students.
“I just poop on the path if I really need to,” Fuller added.
“I just poop on the path if I really need to.”
Tanks for Checking in
The other side of campus also offers unique living situations for those who seek them out.
Aqua Wasser is a third year Computer Science major, and also a mermaid.
She makes her home in the Wallace Memorial Library fish tank.
“I’m going to be honest. This is the only place on campus that was habitable to me, so I didn’t have much of a choice,” Wasser said.
Her limited options definitely makes her feel singled out by RIT. Wasser knows her air-breathing peers don’t deal with similar struggles as her.
“I pay full tuition just like everyone else,” Wasser stated. “Why is this tiny tank the only option available to me?”
Due to its size, the tank doesn’t offer nearly as much privacy as her digs back home. Being a Computer Science major definitely increases her frustration associated with this issue, as she always has to pop out of the tank to work on her laptop.
“The seashells help, but I’m pretty worried that people are constantly staring at my boobs,” Wasser said.
She also finds the social and food aspects of her tank rather disappointing.
“They scoop out dead fish like once a week,” Wasser said. “And it’s the same guy who comes around to drop off my daily serving of fish flakes, so the mental association isn’t exactly great.”
She’s been doing her best to make the most of her situation though. Surprisingly enough, the pandemic has actually benefited her arrangement.
“They don’t have to wheel me around to my classes anymore, which is definitely a bonus,” Wasser stated.
Short People Problems
From aboveground to underground, as our final alternative, let’s take a look at the two small groups you can find roaming RIT’s numerous tunnel systems.
In the dorm side tunnels, you’ll find a community of gnomes. Jerry Gardener, a first year International Business major and member of the RIT Hockey team, is one of them.
“While we gnomes usually prefer flower beds, I actually find it pretty comfy down here,” Gardener said.
With the numerous dining and entertainment options connected to the dorm side tunnels, he feels well connected to the RIT community. He’s especially thankful in the winter, when the wind and cold can really whip up people like him.
“We actually lost a guy, I think his name was Carl, to the last windstorm. It was pretty sad. He just blew right away,” Gardener stated.
“We actually lost a guy, I think his name was Carl, to the last windstorm. It was pretty sad. He just blew right away.”
He is willing to acknowledge that the constant over stimulus of the tunnel isn’t great for schoolwork, but being in his freshman year, he feels he still has time to adjust.
“If I’m really vibing with the party scene though, I may just join Gamma Nu Omicron Mu Epsilon,” Gardener said.
Heading to the other side of campus, you can find the dwarfs who occupy the academic-side tunnels. Terry Miner, a second year Political Science major, is one of them.
He and the rest of the dwarfs find schoolwork to be their primary motivators. The academic-side tunnels fosters that environment.
“I’m connected to the library, and I’m connected to Java’s. I’m pretty much set,” Miner stated.
He also enjoys the quietness that comes with his home away from home. And if things ever get too noisy down in the tunnels, he can always hide out in the College Republicans' club locker.
“They haven’t really been stopping by that often since January 6th,” Miner said. “So, in the meantime, I’ve just made myself a little bed in there.”
These two groups, the gnomes and the dwarfs, may seem different in most ways, but they do have one thing in common — a shared hatred for President Munson.
“He’s just so tall,” Gardener stated.
“It just isn’t fair,” Miner added.
With that, our fantastical tour of RIT’s less well-known housing options is complete.
You may have expected these extra living spaces to be some magical lifehack or key to happy campus living. As you can see through, there are bound to be ups and downs wherever you decide to shack up for the year.
Hopefully though, by reading about your fellow students’ experiences, it becomes apparent that campus life is really just what you make of it!
But seriously, if you see Carl, let us know.