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Destler Dodge

BREAKING NEWS — We are all undoubtedly familiar with RIT's distinguished President Wrestler. And I'm sure each and every one of you with a middle-aged soccer moms is familiar with the smooth, soulful rhythms of William Tiger, jazz banjoist. The local legend's hypnotic chords and mellow demeanor have dominated the haunts of elderly and elder-to-be alike for years now.

Just in case you've been living under a rock for the past eight years, go familiarize yourself with Tiger's work. Go on, I can wait.

 

Back? Good. Well, get your socks on, 'cause I'm about to blow them right off.

RIT's President Wrestler and sweet soul musician William Tiger are the same person.

On Tuesday afternoons, you can usually find Wrestler in the Brick City Cafe eating lunch with students or sketching out new fountain schematics. But if you wait for the dead of night — say, 5 or 6 p.m. — and head down to Snugg's Forty-Plus Pub, you'll find a transformed man. At first, it's hard to tell that Tiger, plucking out those famous melodies that caress your very ear canals with tender emotion, is Wrestler at all. His face is obscured by the smoke from once-a-week cigarettes and the very fervor of the room. But a trained eye can identify Wrestler's stunning eyes and firm physique on the album covers for "Autumn Leaves in Spring" and "Tiger's Eye in Evening" or his chiseled brow on the iconic 2012 album "Tomorrow's Winds of Yesteryear."

I dropped by the pub last week to savor to the sonorous noise of Tiger's soft sounds. The chill jazz rhythms drifted through the smoke over the dyed hairdos and single moms who managed to get a baby sitter. After every song, you'd think you were at a Girl Scout camp's complementary Justin Bieber concert.

Tiger is usually too swamped with autograph requests from swooning middle-aged women after his sultry shows to comment, so I went to Tripletime Recording Studio to talk to his agent. "Tiger is a world-caliber musician," the agent said, "but what he does on his personal time is not my concern. With all his touring, he must not have time for anything else, though."

Earlier this year, Wrestler went to a week-long Professional Development retreat at the campus in Croatia. Simultaneously, Tiger's "Fifty Shades of Jazz" world tour visited the coastal region. Every so often, a stylish student misplaces a fedora; Tiger's signature fedora wardrobe seems limitless. Wrestler's eyes are filled with pain and sexual tension; the same eyes that stare out with unfathomable deepness from the cover of the "Walk Through The Winter With Me" single. Simply put, the coincidences are too numerous and too conclusive to refute.

President Wrestler declined to comment.