So You've Been Sexiled

Illustration by Max Yeager

A text from your new roommate reads; "Hey, do you mind staying away from the room tonight? I'm bringing this girl over."

Congratulations, you've just been "sexiled." 

"Sexiled" is a slang term combining the words sex and exiled, meaning that you are locked out of the room so that your roommate can have some uninterrupted coitus with their special friend. This is not uncommon for a college student and it may be something you have to get used to, especially if you want your roommate to respect when you need some private time in the room.

When filling out your roommate contract, you and your roommate should have made a system for communicating when alone time is needed. If your roommate is polite, they will text you and ask first if it is okay. Texting is the most common way of warning a roommate, and is more private than the traditional sock on the door. After you have received the warning, you need to find a place to get work done or just hang out.

This may actually be the perfect opportunity for you to meet new people and explore campus a bit. Almost every dorm floor has a lounge, and if yours doesn't, check the floor above or below. Here, you can meet other people who live on your floor. If it's a meal time, offer to go together to Gracie's or The Commons.This can be a great bonding experience. Most lounges have TVs with basic cable; you can also hook up your game console and play with your new friends.

It may get hot in the residence halls, especially if yours doesn't have AC. In that case, you can go outside and find groups of people playing games like four square and Frisbee, or just hanging out. Don't be afraid to approach a group and ask to join, most will be very welcoming. If you want to exercise, but it's too hot outside (don't worry, it won't be for long)  then you can go to the Wellness Center and exercise at the gym.

These options are all wonderful for meeting new friends and learning more about campus, but what if you want to have some serious study time?

There are plenty of places around campus to get work done. On residential side, there is a 24-hour computer lab located in Nathaniel Rochester Hall (NRH) where you can do homework. The NRH computer lab is a quiet space for working on computers but does not have the open space required for some projects. In that case, you can go to the Wallace Library, where there are computers and tables, as well as designated quiet floors.

If you find that you're being sexiled too often or you're tired of having your roommate's friend over every night, there are ways to approach the situation. First, talk to your roommate. If nothing changes, then you can approach your Resident Adviser for advice. The Code of Conduct for RIT Housing specifically states; "A resident’s right to sleep or study takes precedence over another resident’s desire to have guests, watch television, play music (including musical instruments) etc., in the room, apartment, or suite." There is also a rule against your roommate having a guest over for more than two nights in a row without special permission from Housing.

Being sexiled is just another part of the college experience. It can provide you with the time to make new friends and explore the campus, but don't let it be more than an occasional annoyance. And if you're the one sexiling your roommate too frequently, be courteous and put yourself in their shoes.