Five Minute Quarantine Crafts!
by Ellen DeGenerous | published Apr. 8th, 2021
For the few of you who actually follow the CDC’s suggestions on staying indoors this COVID-19 season, you probably get bored. Luckily, Distorter has some top-tier crafts that will take less than five minutes to enjoy!
Write a Poem
Poetry is a great way to express your emotions and get your creative juices flowing.
Step 1. Get emotional. Maybe watch a sad movie or read a sappy love story — these can also help give you inspiration!
Step 2. Get to writing! No one has to read your poem, it’s just for you. Let the writing process happen naturally.
Paint Your Room
Sure, most of us live in college apartments, but what the leasing office doesn’t know won’t hurt 'em!
Step 1. Buy some beautiful paint. My personal favorite is a healthy urine yellow. It reminds me that I’m eating and drinking right!
Step 2. Get to painting! The more splotchy it looks, the better — it adds character. Also paint your roommates’ room while you’re at it. Don’t ask them, just surprise them.
Step 3. Watch that beautiful paint dry.
Buy some beautiful paint. My personal favorite is a healthy urine yellow.
Prank Your Friends
With Distorter pranks, we go hard or we go home. You should do the same with this fake “I got murdered!" prank.
Step 1. Hire a talented actor or actress for the part of the murderer. The scarier they look, the better.
Step 2. Get your hand on some real blood — not that fake shit. Just go to the dark web and order some.
Step 3. Splatter your newly-acquired blood all over your apartment. Play dead and have your actor stand over your body.
Step 4. Call your friend and invite them over so that they can stumble across this gruesome scene. For a bonus, have your actor chase after your friend and see how far they run. My record is 12 blocks.
"Get some real blood — not that fake shit."
Start a Drug Ring
This is a great five-minute activity if you want to earn some extra cash on the side.
Step 1. Do your research. Search the web on how to make some hard drugs.
Step 2. Gather your ingredients and start cooking. I find that a makeshift meth lab in the basement works great!
Step 3. Start gathering your customers. Make sure you establish you selling territory. And don’t forget to wear a mask. Not only does it stop the spread but it also hides your identity!
Step 4. Begin to bring on a team to help you with the cooking and selling of your drugs. It is also good to get some security who will follow you around, just in case you encounter a rival drug gang.
Step 5. Buy a secure mansion and get a trophy husband or wife. Maybe have some kids who grow up to be a bit troubled, as they are torn between being a normal kid or following with the family’s successful drug ring.
Tip: Watch movies and shows like “Scarface,” “Breaking Bad” and “The Godfather” for inspiration. Anyone can be a drug lord if you try hard enough!