With our natural glitter reserves at an all-time low, our country is facing its greatest challenge.
There is not a doubt in anybody's mind that this past winter was cold as fuck. RIT's Facilities Management Services (FMS) had all but given up on clearing our Siberian hell-scape from the sludgy snow. Though spring has officially arrived, there's no guarantee we're in the clear yet.
Aside from being the ultimate time-waster and making me question why I go to this God-damned school, Yik Yak is quite possibly the closest thing we have to an Animal Planet documentary: And here we see the wild Top Hat Guy in his usual hunting ground. The scared college students chatter, or "yak," to alert others to his presence.
Do you go to RIT? Aren't hands weird? Do you think God could be Santa Claus? What is the Easter Bunny? Why do we have all these questions? What is this article even about?
Students at RIT have a lot of things to complain about; the weather, the cost, the horrible food at Gracie’s, but the most common complaint for RIT students is the low number of available women. With this in mind, the we here at Distorter Magazine have come up with a solution by forming a publishing arm on campus that specializes in erotic literature.
The People “Student affairs really got out of hand these past couple of years,” Interim Senior Vice President of Student Affairs Dr. Rolls Royce-Barshee explained. “I remember when we had only 10 or 20 [student affairs activities] per year. Now it seems like we have closer to 17,000.”
A recent survey shows that 87 percent of students allow a minimum of 15 extra minutes to their daily walk to class due to ignorant students clearly lacking an education on how to walk. In an effort to eliminate these feet dragging dawdlers, the institute has added Walking 101 to their wellness course options.
Over the past few years of Student Government (SG) President and Vice President Elections, an increasing number of students have been casting votes for Batman, a well-known comic book character and protector of Gotham City. For the 2014-15 elections Batman is an official contender for the position of Student Government President.
The jungle was silent save for the buzzing of insects and crunching of brush underfoot. A thick mist had crept in as the first rays of sunlight pierced the thick canopy, limiting visibility to a mere five feet. Two men walked without saying a word, the leader dressed in a white button down shirt and khakis.
Cookbook/ Semen Based Recipes 4.5/5 stars
In the biting night air of Rochester, a new racing legend has begun. Born not from the burnt rubber and spectacle of a racetrack, these speed demons hide in plain sight: our bus drivers. Their rise to the spotlight and unconventional racing style has become a thorn in the sides of both students and administration.
The People “Student affairs really got out of hand these past couple of years,” Interim Senior Vice President of Student Affairs Dr. Rolls Royce-Barshee explained.
Word of the month: Fomo: an acronym meaning “fear of missing out.”
The Gordon Field House was filled wall to wall by spectators hoping to view the opening ceremony to the Modern Greco-Roman Olympic Games, held at RIT for the second time since the organization’s creation in 1903.
“RIT’s change to semesters has been a complete shit show,” said President Wrestler. Since the beginning of the first semester in August 2013, nearly 40 percent of RIT students have failed out. The Semester Solution Task Force was put into action in early December 2013 in order to propose a solution to The Semester Problem.
The RIT skyline used to look quite different. There was an empty space between Clark Gym and the SAU. This space would eventually be home to the largest piece of statuary on any college campus in North America: the Sentinel.