RIT boasts hundreds of student organizations and clubs. While Student Government and clubs like SEAL are popular among students, there are some that aren’t as well-known and are in need of more members. See if anything strikes your fancy and stop on by to one of these organizations this week. Men’s Relationship Advice Council
An experiment gone wrong in a Gosnell laboratory produced documents that appear to be from the year 2058. The following is an article found in a futuristic edition of Reporter.
Be warned: If you read this, They will come after you
Is that drawing of a dick just a drawing of a dick? Or does it represent the Illuminati's firm hold over our elections, our economy and our entire way of life?
Anybody who's ever walked past the field house around 7 p.m. is sure to catch a glimpse of the gym rats after dinner rush. One glance in the window from the quarter mile reveals a mass of sweaty, bulging biceps and a rainbow array of sticky-looking spandex busily picking things up and putting them down.
The RIT squirrels are tired of being ignored.
Looking for on-campus housing? If you like being able to walk to class and don't mind living with hundreds of bloodthirsty ghosts, Riverknoll Apartments might be right for you!
When in timestamps, do not keep platypi. Francophiles fuck fucking porcupines. Hatred flowed apology trump bitching, again. Velociraptors killing haters all expect unicorns. But nevertheless, chicken nuggets saved me. Fearful, travelling about 200 mph, thoughts awry gyrate haphazardly through Jell-O.
Have you ever wanted to ensure that you win all of your arguments, damned the evidence? Well you are in luck — we have the steps to your success here!
Sleep is for the weak.
Through tireless investigative journalism, Distorter has cracked the case of the football team's repeated incidents of hazing.
Relieve the existential dread of co-op hunting by getting sucked into this totally not dystopian VR app.
EXPOSED: SG caught using a Ouija board to ask the dead for help in running RIT.
The best dating do's and don'ts.
A vigilante has been instilling punishment on poorly parked cars.
As RIT goes through a devastating epidemic of SFQS, we have to ask ourselves: is there such thing as a stupid question?
RIT becomes the first college campus to legalize the use of recreational marijuana.
How much would you pay to visit the world underneath the Sentinel?
[The following is a leaked memo from an unspecified official within the Republican party] Dear fellow Republican elites, names whispered by conspiracy theorists and uncles who can't take a cue to stop talking about politics:
RITchie is THE symbol of all that is good on campus. His silent gestures touch our heart like nothing else. But do you remember the time when we had the OTHER RITchie? Distorter tracked down the once tiger to see how he is handling the loss of fame that came from being the one and only mascot.
This year RIT faced its largest problem to date: total lack of housing. In order to combat this, housing found a radical yet simple solution to the problem; move them to the existing parking lots. Distorter talked to three people living in fully furnished cars to see how they felt about the affordable, and comfortable, new option.
A thrilling tale of the existential struggle that happens when books are atrociously written when they were so promising on the outside.
In lieu of a traditional Rings page, Distorter invites you to try and complete some of the more interesting Rings that we've received. There's nothing worse than a ______ that's had work done. A. garbage truck B. daffodil C. jaguar D. sex doll Toontown is _______, the RPG. A. insanity B. anti-bullying C. anarchy D. socialism On a scale of one to ten fuck offs, it's not ________.
Yo, do you want to hear the craziest shit?