102 Reasons We Love RIT

102 Reasons we love RIT

A few years ago, Reporter published 101 things to love about RIT. We're going to top that.

1. Blowjobs in the library.

2. Binary.

3. Toilet paper so thin that it sets unrealistic body expectations for other toilet paper.

4. Gracie’s patented anti-constipation program. Be more regular than you ever wanted to be after just one meal!

5. The third and fourth floors of the Wallace Center for being ideal quiet places to obnoxiously talk on the phone.

6. People who take video games way too seriously. They remind us that all normal people come out of the womb with the ability to pull off flawless combos in "Smash Bros." and that everyone else is a failure.

7. Those kind souls in the residence halls that lull the rest of us to sleep with music, like "Get Low" or "Soulja Boy," played at 140 decibels.

8. The euphoric amount of fedoras.

9. Bytes, Artisano's and Ben and Jerry’s for teaching us that the “freshman 15” is very, VERY real.

10.  Code that doesn’t work for no apparent reason.

11.  Code that DOES work for no apparent reason.

12.  Anime fanatics for reminding us to READ THE MANGA.

13.  Quirky Alone Day. You might go in lonely, but you come out … lonely. Only now you have ice cream.

14.  Blazingly fast internet that makes us bang our heads on our keyboards when we go home over break.

15.  Middle-aged men in the Fitness Center locker rooms. If they can walk around naked and not be ashamed, then so can I. When I’m 65.

16.  The sensual sounds of two deaf people having sex in the room next door.

17.  That one person that always tries to seem smarter than the professor.

18.  The distinctive scent that fills the Davis Room during Rochester Wargamer Association and Guild (RWAG) and Electronic Gaming Society (EGS) events.

19.  Mixing all of the sodas from the Commons soda machines into one cup. We’ve named it "Satan’s Piss."

20.  Sol’s Bottle Return for closing three minutes before I remember to take out the recyclables.

21.  People who ace tests without studying.

22.  Accidentally studying chapter seven for a test on chapter six.

23.  Neck beards, because they only grow on people I don’t get along with.

24.  The RIT Message Center. You’ll never feel lonely when you’re getting 27 emails a day.

25.  Professors that stand in front of what they’re writing on the whiteboard.

26.  Playing a horror game and accidentally screaming at 2 a.m. — Because if I’m not sleeping tonight, neither is anyone else.

27.  The skunky, dank smell of students studying.

28.  Lying to yourself about how much homework you have tonight.

29.  Laptop Guy.

30.  Bathrobe Scooter Guy. I’ve met him, and he’s actually really cool.

31.  That group of people who wear fancy clothes and walk down the Quarter Mile singing show tunes. I don’t know who you are, but don’t ever stop doing what you do.

32.  The Quarter Mile, for not actually being a quarter of a mile long.

33.  Fall Humans vs. Zombies games for better acquainting freshmen with the campus than any tour ever could. 

34. Spring Humans vs. Zombies games. They accurately represent how many of us would actually survive a zombie apocalypse (i.e. none of us).

35.  People who slip and fall when there’s ice on the Quarter Mi- OH, CRAP!

36.  Working for Dining Services and having to ask three different people if it’s okay to put cheese on a sandwich that doesn’t usually have cheese.

37.  Classes that are 10 minutes apart and on opposite sides of campus. How else am I going to get my cardio?

38.  Going to a school where my boogers freeze on the way to class.

39.  RIT mosquitos, for helping me get rid of all that unneeded blood.

40.  Destler’s weather machine.

41.  The fact that despite RIT Players' best attempts, I’m still not sure what "Urinetown" is.

42.  No matter how good you are at something, someone at RIT is better at it than you.

43.  No matter how bad you are at something, someone at RIT is worse at it than you.

44.  Trying to blow your nose or wipe up a spill in another room with the blow driers in the bathrooms because paper towels are wasteful.

45.  For every force, there is an equal and opposite wind tunnel.

46.  Walking in on your roommate masturbating.

47.  Your roommate walking in on you masturbating.

48.  When someone doesn’t flush and your RA has to report a biohazard to maintenance.

49.  The Sentinel. We’ve all been told that it looks like a man on a horse from above, but we’ve never really bothered to check.

50.  Heaters that can spontaneously turn your room into a nice, steamy sauna.

51.  That moment when you’re juuuuust about to fall asleep … then you remember that Mastering Physics assignment you have due tomorrow.

52.  Professors who outline EXACTLY what’s on the final. You the real MVP.

53.  Thinking that 30 degrees is a heat wave.

54.  That kid in your class who’s developed five websites, made nine apps and is working on winning a Nobel Prize.

55.  People who smoke in the alcove by Gleason. The lobby just wouldn’t be the same without that fragrant, smoky aroma.

56.  Guys who act like the ratio is the reason they can’t get a girlfriend, not the fact that they don’t shower.

57.  People who don’t wipe. God bless the poor souls who live with them.

58.  Loft beds that don’t feel safe no matter how many times you climb into them.

59.  The fact that RIT is a dry campus. A dry campus with TWO GODDAMN BARS.

60.  People who bike down the Quarter Mile. Nothing makes a walk to class more fun than having to constantly dodge serious bodily harm.

61.  Outlets that are hidden behind dorm furniture. I didn't really want to feng shui my room, anyway.

62.  The fact that almost all of someone’s tuition is going toward balloons.

63.  Those Casanovas that know that the key to a girl’s heart is to stare at her uncomfortably from across the room.

64.  The wonderful, musty scent of “intelligence” in Golisano.

65.  Wearing yoga pants in a blizzard and not knowing why you’re cold.

66.  Academic advisors, for supporting you when you’re struggling. There is no joke here.

67.  People who never learned to make Easy Mac. Fire alarms don’t let you oversleep, after all. You're the reason we can't have nice things.

68.  The tiger ice sculpture will last forever. 

69.  All of the immature people.

70.  RIT’s brick fetish.

71.  If you’re a girl, you can easily clear a room by saying you have a boyfriend. At least five guys will leave.

72.  If you’re a guy, you can easily clear a room by lifting your hands over your head. Everyone will either run from the odor or drop dead.

73.  The hard-hitting decision-making that comes with coffee shops that open at 8 a.m. when you have an 8 a.m. class. Do I go to class on time and fall asleep, or get to class late and stay awake?

74.  The RIT Yik Yak community, for being an absolute goldmine of witty posts that were definitely not copied from Reddit.

75.  Feeling awkward walking through a sign language conversation, then feeling even more awkward when you know it’s rude to apologize for doing so.

76.  Living in the dorms for a second year. Just imagine how good an apartment will feel after two years of living in a shoebox!

77.  When girls shed enough to turn their dorm floors into shag carpets.

78.  The excitement of taking an important online exam and praying the internet doesn’t go out.

79.  When your RA hints to others that you’re gay, but you’re actually straight.

80.  The amazing artwork people can create with colored tape.

81.  The ongoing a cappella war.

82.  The fresh air you can get when your roommate sexiles you.

83.  Being the only healthy person in your group of friends and trying to dodge their germs.

84.  Putting a shirt in a res-hall washing machine and taking out a fur coat.

85.  The anticipation of waiting for that really important exam grade to be posted to myCourses.

86.  People who mysteriously come out of the shower smelling worse than they went in.

87.  Our high-and-mighty Computer Science major overlords.

88.  Hating slushy walks to class, then wishing for slush when it’s too cold for slush.

89.  The Golden Rule of Calculus: If you think you’re doing it right, you’re doing it very, very wrong.

90.  YearOne, for extending freshman orientation across an entire semester.

91.  Roommates that give you time to relax between your shower and brushing your teeth by swooping into the bathroom while you’re grabbing your toothbrush from your desk.

92.  When literally everything is due on the same day. Sleep is for the weak!92.  When literally everything is due on the same day. Sleep is for the weak!

93.  Adjusting your eyes to sunlight after three months of snowy darkness.

94.  Bringing popcorn to a Space Time Adventures Club (STAR) meeting and watching the fireworks. Jerry Springer ain’t got nothing on the sci-fi club.

95.  The satisfaction of crawling into bed at the same time your roommate pulls out his homework.

96.  Residence hall elevators. Why bother making both work? We only really need one.

97.  Slush puddles so large that they give us the chance to pretend to be Super Mario.

98.  Girls who wear bright-green headbands during Humans vs. Zombies, then look at us funny when we point our blasters at them.

99.  Checking to make sure no one is around, then belting out your favorite song in the tunnels.

100. The Fireside piano. Nothing brightens my day more than music from The Legend of Zelda while I’m doing homework.

101. Getting weird looks when you take 10 plastic forks from Commons.

102. Distorter articles that seem easy to write, but turn out to be fairly difficult.