On Dec. 15, 2024, the National School for Amish Coders and Number-Minded Folk (NSACNMF) closed its doors amidst the scandal of its president, Joe Humphrey, getting caught drunk hoeing. This left many Amish students in Western New York with no local options for a godly STEM school. That is, until RIT stepped in.

“I honestly thought it was a prank,” said RIT President Daniel Muncel when asked about the open letter to NSACNMF students, which stated that they are welcome to come to RIT.

This letter was posted on Instagram stories, but that did not stop Noah Planter and Colin Farmer, former Amish NSACNMF students, from finding out about it.

“One of my pen pals goes to RIT,” explained Farmer. “He printed out the letter and drove it 127 miles to my house in Conewango Valley. He said that he skipped a Valorant match to get it to me, and even though I don’t know what that means, I appreciate it. He could have just mailed it, though.”

When asked about their first day on campus, the two men had complicated feelings.

“I almost got arrested right off the bat,” Planter started, holding back a laugh. “I guess I parked my horse and buggy in a reserved spot, and when they went to give me a ticket, old Henry ate the darn thing.” Henry declined to comment on this Class A misdemeanor.

Fellow students had conflicting feelings about this new presence on campus. Social media posts on r/rit and messages in Discord channels have shown a mixed reaction among their fellow cybersecurity students.

“I just don’t think it’s a good cultural fit,” wrote Reddit user u/AnimeBaddies4Lyfe in a post to Reddit. “We can’t go outside for more than the 15-minute period that it takes to go between our dorms and the nearest tunnel’s entrance. These guys are outside all the time.”

The post has 69 upvotes, which neither Planter nor Farmer found funny when I brought it up.

Other students expressed their feelings in person. Farmer recalls overhearing another student in the hallway telling their friend that he “brought a smell with him” and that he “probably didn’t shower and rolled in the mud with livestock all day.”

“I think I’ve been on this campus long enough and have spoken to enough women to know that we are not the problem here. I felt like my beard hairs were going to singe off from the odor in that building,” commented Planter.

“Our families grow fruit for a living,” added Farmer. “So we are actually pretty fresh. We eat a balanced diet as well. I don’t think Fuego Takis and Mountain Dew bode well for your bodily functions.”

As word has gotten around to other schools about their enrollment, student sections at away hockey games have adopted chants making fun of Planter and Farmer. Due to the vulgar nature of these hockey chants, we will not be repeating them here.

“That’s just [freaking] racist dude,” said Mariella Santiago, a friend of the pair, about said chants.

Now to the biggest question people have: how do they do cybersecurity work when it is against their beliefs to use technology?

Farmer countereds the question: “Well how did we get the moon in the ’60s?”

The pair complete all of their coding on paper and have their fellow students or a professor relay the problem to them, as they cannot access MyCourses.

Planter observed a notable difference between this work method and that of their peers: “I see the guys next to me on the verge of tears, and I can’t help but wonder if the computer makes it harder. I find this stuff really easy.”

Farmer concurred, “Yeah, same here. They made fun of us when we first walked into class but now everyone asks for our notes. I say the only downside is having to carry it all around.” According to the duo, it takes about 400 pieces of paper to complete a project.

Overall, Planter and Farmer have exhibited a bright potential for their time at RIT, telling us that they have gotten offers from the FBI, CIA and KFC to run remote and untraceable cybersecurity initiatives.

“Being a spy sounds neat, but I just want to help my community, not destabilize Latin American governments,” stated Planter.

Will students ever get used to seeing this pair roll up in a horse and buggy and outperform them on a tech-based campus? Probably not. But that is not my problem, I’m a journalist. I say that I think these guys are pretty cool.